Easter may be over, and I’m not Christian, but I have this enjoyable photo series I did to document a Jesus Gnome I made for someone who is Christian. So settle in and I will tell you the tale of this particular Jesus Gnome and how we ended up stuck in a snow bank in a graveyard together.

I’ve made a few custom gnome sculptures over the years. They take a while to create and sometimes blow up in the firing process, so they are a pretty major undertaking.

I started this particular Jesus Gnome when I was having a hard time with a variety of things business and personal wise. He needed to sit and dry out periodically for the base to be strong enough to take the weight of the growing sculpture. During one drying period I was evicted from my work space but not able to remove my belongings. My neighbors said I could work in their space but then our landlord had me escorted out by security and banned from campus. My lawyer at the time said it wasn’t done correctly from a legal standpoint, but to be on the safe side, I should avoid the campus.

So my poor Jesus Gnome was locked in my old studio along with several other projects. If they stayed there for too long they would have dried out too much and then I would have needed to start over. Thankfully I have a variety of creative resources and the Jesus Gnome was able to be rescued. He came to my new studio and while I figured out my legal mess I was able to finish him.

Eventually I finished Jesus Gnome up and knew I had to take him to church. The chapel on the nearby university campus of St. Lawrence University seemed like the best option so I planed on combining some business errands with a trip around the village of Canton for a photo shoot. The night before though I went out with friends and had a bit too much to drink. This resulted in me running around trying to do professional stuff, lugging a fairly heavy gnome, all with an uncomfortable hangover.

SLU and our Canton exploration was decent despite my hangover but as they day wore on, I started to fade. On my way out of town I was going by the cemetery and couldn’t resist trying to take a few more pictures. Only they don’t plow the cemetery in winter so it had built up ruts of melting snow particularly further in where there was shade from all the trees. A fair amount of the snow had melted but about halfway in I knew I had made a mistake. I tried to back out but instead went off the side of the road. I wasn’t stuck too bad so I was determined to get back on the road and just get out of there. My attempts however got me more stuck so I did the logical thing and walked to a nearby gas station and bought a shovel. Digging out sort of helped but also sort of made it worse so now I was cold, wet, exhausted, and still hungover. It was also getting dark so I went to a nearby laundromat to figure out what to do.

My Dad has AAA but he would have had to come to where I was, call them, and then wait with me for them to come pull me out. I also REALLY didn’t want to explain to AAA why I was in a graveyard, after dark, stuck off the side of an unplowed road with a Jesus Gnome in my car. So I started calling friends and eventually someone came to my rescue. It took us a while but we did get my car back on the road.

Since we were out I finished the trip off by going to Wall Mart and pushing Jesus Gnome around in my cart to take his picture. Interestingly enough not a single person said anything to me about him. There were a few stares, but that was all.

Jesus Gnome says, “eat your vegetables.”

So that’s the tale of me and the Jesus Gnome and our trip around Canton. Jesus Gnome now lives in Colorado and I am more mindful of not trying to do too much when i have a hangover and will never drive through a cemetery when there is any amount of snow on the road again.

Happy Easter!